---
title: My Stolen Identity is Cheating on My Wife
source_page: https://www.sardine.ai/media/the-saturday-fraud-strategist/episodes/my-stolen-identity-is-cheating-on-my-wife
canonical: https://www.sardine.ai/media/the-saturday-fraud-strategist/episodes/my-stolen-identity-is-cheating-on-my-wife
format: text/markdown
date: 2026-05-14T15:40:00.000Z
description: A fraud expert woke up on a dating app he never joined. What follows is a trail straight to APP fraud and a tale of stakes the dating industry keeps ignoring.
---

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# My Stolen Identity is Cheating on My Wife

**Published:** 2026-05-14T15:40:00.000Z

A fraud expert woke up on a dating app he never joined. What follows is a trail straight to APP fraud and a tale of stakes the dating industry keeps ignoring.

A few months ago, I woke up registered on a dating app. I'm in a 13-year relationship. I did not sign up.
Someone used my email to create a profile on Coffee Meets Bagel. When the platform froze the account, the scammers opened another one. Same email. Same details. Instantly. By the third account, customer support still hadn't replied.
What starts as fake dating profiles doesn't stay there. They become romance scams. Then a loss your FI absorbs while the dating platform moves on with no accountability for the identity verification failure and no skin in the game.
Dating platforms have no chargebacks, no regulatory pressure, and no reason to fix the lack of account takeover detection. So who actually bears the cost, and why are we still waiting for them to care about APP fraud prevention?
What this episode covers
How dating app identity theft becomes a gateway to romance scams and APP fraud
Why dating platforms have no structural incentive to prevent account misuse
What the upstream fraud trail looks like, and who ends up paying downstream
Who should listen
Fraud ops teams at FIs and fintechs
Teams working with identity verification systems
Risk and compliance professionals tracking APP fraud vectors
Anyone watching romance scam trends
### Key takeaway
Dating platforms are the upstream origin of a fraud chain that ends at your institution, and they have every incentive to keep ignoring it.
Links mentioned
Musubi - AI moderation for dating apps
Tech Against Scams coalition
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